I’m bowing to popular demand (well, Google search stats) and including a couple of posts related directly to the performance of the Chicken Dance. This is the first of this content.

The first thing you will want to do is find a wedding. Generally, despite some notable exceptions, this is the only place where a chicken dance can be predicted to occur. Chicken dances have been known to bust out spontaneously in non-matrimonial situations, usually as demonstration or to place emphasis on a conversational point—but if you are serious about witnessing and/or joining in on a true chicken dance session a wedding is the place to do it.

If you don’t readily have a wedding to attend, you can troll the announcements section of the newspaper (if newspapers still exist). It can sometimes be advisable to look for weddings occuring not in your area of residence if for no other purpose than anonymity.  You may also wish to look for weddings that are scheduled closely together, if you are especially taken with the dance or if you screw it up the first time you will have another opportunity to try it again shortly afterward. Bonus: Cake x2. Also, look for receptions that feature a live band (polka, if possible) – far more possibility that the chicken dance will occur.

Once you are suited up (formal wear is required to acheive the correct juxtaposition of social appropriacy with performing an utterly ridiculous gesticulation that involves your entire body) you will want to insert yourself at the wedding reception at the correct time. Chances are that the chicken dance will be performed as a time-proven ice-breaker, quite often after the aunties have had a drink or two and there are still only a couple of the “whacky” relatives on the dancefloor.

I cannot emphasize this point enough: Unless you have an actual invitation, go to the wedding reception, NOT the wedding itself. Performing the chicken dance at the wedding ceremony increases the possibility that you will have your well-dressed ass politely handed to you by the bride’s burly family members. Keep things on the couth, OK?

Now comes the time for the actual dance. You’ll know that it is about to begin by noticing one of the most common signs: the band/DJ will announce it (sometimes called the “bird” dance by the uncouth), you’ll hear the opening bars of the song, the whacky relatives will shriek with sadistic delight and everyone else will be wearing expressions of extreme dread. Don’t let any of these throw you off, remain calm and assume the initial chicken pose.

Here is something to refer to as we get into the meat of this bird.